Tuesday, December 12, 2006


The Avs won a good game last night against the Carolina Hurricanes. The power play was rocking for the first time in awhile and Peter Budaj was big in net. So that begs the question: Is Budaj the answer in goal because Theodore is so inconsistent? It all depends on what Budaj does next. It seems like whenever he has a good game, they give him the next start and he looks, well, Theodore-esque. If Budaj can put a couple of wins together, and show he can do it, The Avs would do well to stay with him.

If you thought the Broncos could win in San Diego this past week then you are very optimistic my friend. I really didn't think they had a chance based on how poorly they've played lately and how well the Chargers have been playing.

I figured Cutler would show some improvement and he certainly did in the second half. The big question is if he can get it together to win the remaining the games on their schedule. But with that said, is he really the problem? The defense looks battered and bruised. When 35 year old John Lynch is supposed to track down Antonio Gates, I think you've got problems.

The Broncos are fucked but they aren't out of the playoffs yet. Obviously they aren't going deep even if they make it, but that's about as far as they would have gotten with Plummer. It's a bit depressing, but as long as Cutler keeps getting better, that's the light at the end of the tunnel.

A prediction: the Chargers choke in the playoffs. Tomlinson is a bad motherfucker. I'll give you that. He's great to watch and good guy too. But if a team figures out how to stop him, he's literally all the Chargers have and their season comes to a grinding halt. It's coming soon, mark my words.

And besides, do you really want to see Marty Shittenheimer win a Super Bowl? I know your answer already.


Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Line up to suck Joe Williams' Cock

Ok, so the Cutler era got off like a fart escaping from an old man’s ass this past Sunday. I guess I’m not surprised, but I did think he would have been a little better than that. If not for that horrible interception he threw for the TD, the outcome might have been a little different.

I will admit that I think the Broncos would have won that game if Plummer was at QB. But I won’t admit that starting Cutler was a mistake.

All the cocksuckers on the planet came out to grovel at the FAN’s Joe Williams’ feet yesterday on the radio and say “you were right!” Yeah, he was right. And what a bold prediction by Joe. He said it was a mistake and Cutler would flail in his first appearance. Well, that kind of reckless prognosticating sure is easy when you’ve got more than a 75% of it coming true. Good work Carnac.

But what was worse was the beat offs who called in to tell him he had been right. Really? I don’t even think Bronco Hater Joe would have taken too much credit for saying Cutler was going to lay a turd on the field like he did. When the Iraq War started I said, “this is going to end badly,” and now as it looks like it will end badly, I can’t really take credit for it because we all knew it would.

So anyone rushing off to sports talk radio to bemoan the choice of Cutler should just move out of Colorado and not watch sports anymore. They are taking up oxygen and probably seats at the stadium. Having only an AM radio in my work truck, I have to listen to you assholes go on and on about this and it makes me want to claw YOUR eyes out. Please give me the chance. Please.

And again I say the choice of Cutler wasn’t a mistake. Yes, they could have won that game with Plummer but as we all know, Plummer isn’t getting the Broncos out of the first round of the playoffs. No way. He might drive them there, but like a confused teenage girl, he’ll lose the keys and they’ll all take the bus home from whatever city they had to travel to. Cutler needs the snaps because he’d be taking over anyway. Better now than @ San Diego and @ Indy for the playoffs (wishful thinking?).

The problem with losing this game on Sunday was that they may not make the playoffs at all now. If they do great; it will as far as Plummer would have gotten them. And now Cutler gets experience that he’ll use for next year. But they have to win pretty much all of the rest of their games and I don’t know if they can do that.

What putting in a new QB showed against the Seahawks was that it definitely wasn’t all Jake’s fault. They’ve got some serious problems with the offensive line and either the receivers can’t get open or there’s something stinky with the game plan. The running game isn’t horrible but they stick with it way too long and it gets them in trouble. Plummer couldn’t over come this and I’m pretty sure Cutler won’t either.

If they win this Sunday in San Diego (a bit of a long shot…ha) they might be back on track. But lose two of the remaining games and the season is over.

While callers were stroking Joe Williams’ cock on the radio, a guy called in said what I’ve been saying here: Plummer would get them to a playoff game and that’s it. The hosts were asking “what’s wrong with that?” What’s wrong with that? Well, for one, it should be Super Bowl or bust with this team always. Settling for one playoff game that they will lose with a lame duck QB is not my idea of excellence. It’s like telling your kid he can have his Xmas presents but no batteries. Sitting and looking at the lifeless toys would be far worse than not seeing them at all. With Cutler you’re going to get the present and you might just get the batteries too. And if not, at least he’s sparing us the inevitable soul crushing defeat that Plummer had in store for us….yet again. And at this point, that’s the best Xmas present I could hope for.


Sunday, November 26, 2006

Jake Plummer: AMF (adios mother fucker)

Last night I was about to declare that I thought the Broncos would continue to go with Jake Plummer for at least one more game. Well, I’m glad I didn’t say that because I would have been wrong. As of today, it will be announced that the Broncos will be going with Jay Cutler as the starting QB for next Sunday’s game with Seattle.

It’s probably about fucking time.

I liked Plummer and supported him but it became pretty clear that he wasn’t getting it done. He’d throw an amazing ball one series and lob a frozen turkey into the hands of the opposition on the next. That kind of inconsistency should land you on the bench.

If you worked in a restaurant and your top cook kept screwing up the meals he was putting out, you’d have to have a word with him. You’d put him on notice and if he kept screwing up, he’d have to either do another less important job (like prep cook) or find work elsewhere (working at Bennagins or its NFL equivalent, the Detroit Lions). When your focal point of your business is literally or figuratively dropping the ball, you have to stop the bleeding.

Going with a rookie right now is a little shaky, but if you saw Cutler in the preseason, he looked great. I don’t expect him to light it up ala some of the better QB’s in the league, but if he’s even slightly better than Plummer, they’ll be alright.

Plummer supporters will point to this season’s 7-4 record, but if they could look at those games without their Plummer colored sunglasses, they would see that the defense won most of those, not Plummer. Now the defense is getting worn down and the wins aren’t coming. They defense, once a mighty unit that didn’t allow a TD in so many games I can’t remember, is now letting people in the end zone like it was Hooters on “free fondle” night. Plummer can’t stay on the field, so 35 year old John Lynch has to run around like he’s 25….he’s not.

That defense was so hot in the beginning because they were healthy and rested. Now, they’re beat up and having to save the day on a weekly basis. You just can’t sustain that. Plummer can’t stay out there and keep a drive going because teams know he can’t throw the ball so they stuff the run make him beat them. He can’t, at least not on a consistent basis. And as we all know, it’s about consistency. As far as Plummer being consistent, just like Lynch being 25, he's not.

It’s hard to tell if Cutler is going to save this season which looks like it could go south real damn quick. On paper, and from what we’ve seen in the preseason, he seems like he could be pretty good. Most “experts” said he was better than Vince Young and Matt Lienart, but those two have been playing; Cutler has not. If he comes out blazing and throwing the ball well, it will help the stagnant running game and consequently, make the Plummer era in Denver a distant, mediocre memory.

Thanks for everything Jake, but I think it’s time we all moved on.


Saturday, November 25, 2006

Avs 3 Canucks 1...Sedin Brothers suck as usual

The Avs have played two pretty good games in the last couple of nights. But beating Anaheim is one thing; they’re one of the better teams in the league right now. Beating Vancouver isn’t that big of a deal. Sure, they’re ahead of the Avs in the standings, but anytime the two teams have played, Vancouver has looked weak and ineffective. The game, a 3-1 Avs win, was a good game, but I’m withholding judgment on how difficult it is to hang a loss on the Canucks. By the looks of them, I’m betting they’ll be at the bottom of the standings by February.

Wolski had a monster night. Having sat out the previous game, he responded better than can be expected with his three assists and one goal.

Theodore played well. The only goal he gave up was through a bit of screen so I can’t fault him for that. He made a skate save on a pretty good move and gloved a couple of hairy shots that were impressive. But if you’ve been following his goaltending, you’ll know that with the up close shots, he’s pretty amazing. It’s the lazy blueline shots that he seems to let in on a regular basis. I like what he’s done for the last couple of games and will be watching closely.

The Sedin brothers are fucking useless. The announcers were talking about them because one was out and how it would hinder the other one….really? Every time I’ve watched them play they don’t do a damn thing so whether one is in and one is out shouldn’t matter. I don’t think anyone would notice if both were out because they are like ghosts out there….because they’re non-existent and are pale Scandinavians.

Big road trip with conference teams coming up, we’ll know a lot by the end of next week.

And speaking of that, if you read Adrian Dater’s mailbag in the Post, you’ll see at least once every time it’s published, some asshole writing in and complaining about various trades that have gone down. Usually it’s someone lamenting the Drury trade (justifiable) and the Forsberg trade (probably for the best considering he’s hurt most of time and $$$). It’s pretty pathetic because it shows the fan mentality of constantly living in the past, not facing reality and not just supporting the team that’s out there.

So in typical dumbfuck fan fashion, several douchebags write in on a weekly basis about the Tanguay trade. It’s always the same “why did we trade Tanguay?” “This was a bad idea!” and “I am single handedly dragging down the Avs fan base by showcasing my ignorance.”

I might just stop reading this column because it comes up so much. It makes the Avs fan base look ignorant and far less credible than they’re given credit for. People around the country and Canada think Avs fans in Denver are retards because we were lucky enough to get such an incredible team dropped in our laps. In part they’re right, but I think that’s just jealousy mostly. They’re right because there are a lot of really dumb hockey fans in Denver. They cheer at the wrong times and think some teams want to take Brisebois, May and Turgeon off our hands.

So a lot of these drones think the Tanguay deal was a bad one. Sure, Jordan Leopold hasn’t played yet but he seems to be exactly what the team needs. If the Avs kept Tanguay, they wouldn’t be much better than they are right now. Tanguay is very inconsistent and gets hurt a lot. Keeping him would have been too expensive for someone who goes into slumps like he does. The Flames can have him. They’ll see what they traded for when the playoffs come. Tanguay might have a good game, but overall he’s just not worth it. Now if all the dumbass Avs fans could realize this, get over this and move on, we’ll all be much better for it.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What will become of the Broncos?

I've got loads to say about the Broncos, but I need to reflect on this past Sunday's game just a little while more.

Look forward to deep insight concerning the NFL's finest...and by that I mean the Broncos, not some lame East Coast team that sucks yet everyone wants to have go to the super bowl because the ratings will be good.

Stay tuned.


The Avs: coughing up losses like furballs

Just listened to the Avalanche blow yet another game in the third period. I listen to the games while I’m working and it doesn’t make me feel any better that I can’t actually see them lose. It still feels the same. It’s almost worse because I’m left to imagine just how they looked while blowing it.

The Avs played Dallas and got off to a great start with Marek Svatos netting two goals in what seemed like the first couple of minutes. I actually missed the first goal because I was loading my equipment in for work. By the time I put on my headphones (ipod earbuds, so really by the time I put “in” my headphones) Svatos got his second goal.

I thought “oooh sweet” this could be an ass kicking, but I knew better. Dallas is a pretty good team in a tough division and I figured the Avs would do everything in their power to let them back in it. Well, as sure as I was standing there, they let them back in it.

Not even the fact that Marty Turco was pulled after Svatos’ second goal seemed to bring them down. Brenden Morrow got the next two goals and then both teams were off to the races. Dallas eventually took the lead 5-4 and that was it; leaving the Avs to wonder how they let another third period lead evaporate yet again.

I despise all teams from Texas (and Florida) so hating the Stars is pretty damn easy. What’s not easy is sitting through what sounded like a good game only to have the Avs pee down their leg when it came time to put the clamps on.

So, I’m kind of used to this by now. It seems like this team will give up a tying goal, at a crucial time, and then just fold up the tent, letting in the winning goal shortly after. It’s like they get a lead and can’t for the life of them figure out how to keep it. Then when the other team scores a goal, it’s almost as if they completely forget how to play hockey and the floodgates open. Early in the season I was watching a game where this happened. TV announcer Mike Haynes made a comment after the opposing team (can’t remember who they were playing) scored a goal to put them within two. As he said, “now it’s 4-2” or whatever the score was, his voice betrayed a sinking feeling that they were about to cough it up like furballs at crazy cat lady’s house. And sure enough, they did.

They’ve already got shaky goaltending, so the very shaky defensive play doesn’t help this situation at all.

If the Avalanche can’t shore up the defense, the 5 Million Dollar a Year Man is not going to bail them out. He’s just not that good. To be fair, Peter Budaj was in net on this night, and while he might be a little bit better than number 60 right now, he’s not superman when he’s got Liles and Brisebois dicking around in front of him.

They’ve got a lot of games to play so I’m not going to pronounce them dead just yet. But if something doesn’t shake loose soon, the Avs are going to have to get their golf clubs ready a little sooner this year than they’re used to. And by golf clubs I mean they’re not going to make the playoffs.